Mother's Day

This has been a great Mother's Day with my boys! We went to breakfast and church, then Mommy went to the movies for some quiet time. I met back up with Eric and the boys for pizza later, then we came home for baths and bedtime. We put two little boys in their cribs at 6:53pm, and they were both screaming. The house was silent at 6:54pm. It always amuses me how they put on such a show, but are truly exhausted.

This is my last Mother's Day without Tessa. For that I am very grateful. It still doesn't make me any more patient. I hate waiting for nonsense paperwork to go through and be approved. It's so hard to wait.

I'm reading a book right now by Xinran, called "Message of an Unknown Chinese Mother". Reading this, combined with it being Mother's Day, has me doing a lot of thinking about Tessa's biological Mom. Which we'll be calling her "tummy Mommy" with Tessa. I am so grateful to her. First for not aborting Tessa. Secondly, for choosing to let Tessa live. In the book I am reading, there are stories of rural villagers smothering or drowning their baby girls right after birth. I am immensely grateful to Tessa's tummy mommy for choosing life for her baby girl not once, but twice. And to leave her in a safe place, where she could be found and taken to an orphanage, is beyond what I could ever communicate my thanks for. Because of her choices, Tessa is going to grow our family's life more than we can imagine.

So I think about her today, and how she must be grieving. Wondering where Tessa is, how she is, is she warm, fed, loved, and happy. The EXACT same things I'm wondering. Two Mommies, one daughter, and a LOT of love. But she will never know the answers to those questions. She will forever grieve for her daughter, and never know if she is loved and happy. That breaks my heart for her, from one mother to another. I am the lucky one. I get to kiss Tessa's sweet face each day, and know how loved and happy she is. I am counting down...